My Dad Bod and Oversized Shirt Collar

“Two Traps I Fell Into (And Finally Crawled Out Of)”

If there’s one thing the Invisible Agent is good at, it’s quietly navigating life while trying not to trip over his own thoughts.
But let’s be honest: I’ve fallen into my fair share of traps. Not dramatic, life‑ending ones but more like the subtle, mental quicksand that pulls you in slowly until you finally say:

“Oh. Wow. I did that to myself.”

Today, I’ll admit to two of the biggest ones.

Trap #1: Believing Everyone Was Staring at Me

For most of my life, I cared way too much about what other people thought of me.

Not in a “look at me” way — more in a “please tell me my shirt collar isn’t weird” way.

I worried about:

• my appearance
• my business acumen
• how I came across
• whether I sounded competent enough, polished enough, successful enough
• whether people thought I looked too old, too soft, too dad‑bodish

I used to think every eye in the room was silently evaluating me.
Judging.
Assessing.
Noticing every stray hair, wrinkle, or outdated fashion decision.

The truth?
No one cared.

Not even a little.

But I didn’t know that yet. I was too busy living inside my own head.

Trap #2: Thinking People Actually Think About Me

This one makes me laugh now.

After years of worrying about what everyone thought about me, I finally realized something profound:

People are too busy thinking about themselves.

They’re worried about their own collars, their own insecurities, their own perceived flaws.
They’re juggling their kids, their jobs, their bills, their relationships, their health, their to‑do lists.

They do not have the time or emotional bandwidth to analyze whether my shirt is from this decade or the last.

Dramatic realization:
My dad bod is not a national emergency.
No one is losing sleep over my jawline.
No one is tracking my haircut freshness.

And the most ironic part?

Some folks have told me they didn’t call because they thought I only sell luxury homes.
Their home “wasn’t fancy enough.”
They didn’t want to “waste my time.”

Meanwhile I’m over here thinking: “I’ll happily sell a charming 1960s bungalow with crooked doorknobs. Call me!”

I sell all price points — and I do it well.
If anything, I enjoy the variety.

But again — people were busy thinking about how they might be judged.

Proof, once again, that everyone is more focused on their own stuff than yours.

The Invisible Agent Lesson

Here’s where these two traps meet:

• I cared too much about what others thought
• And they weren’t thinking about me at all

It’s beautifully ironic.

And also freeing.

It means I can show up as I am — dad bod, slightly rebellious collar, imperfectly imperfect — and the world keeps spinning.
Clients still trust me.
Deals still happen.
Life still moves.
And I’m… happier.

Because once you stop performing for an imaginary audience, life gets quieter.
Calmer.
Kinder.
Lighter.

And from that place?
You actually become better — at relationships, at business, at being human.

So, Here’s Where I’ve Landed

I’m learning to:

• care less about appearances
• care more about authenticity
• be upfront in business
• trust direct honesty with clients
• stop assuming people are studying me
• and remember that everyone is too busy living their own life

Recently, being more direct with a client — truly direct — led to a negotiation breakthrough.
Old me would’ve tiptoed.
New me told the truth gently but clearly.

It worked.
And it felt good.

Because growth isn’t always gigantic.
Sometimes it’s a quiet realization:

I’m not who I used to be — and thank God.