Destination Addiction

Destination Addiction and the Illusion of the “Better” Home

Robert Holden, PhD, said it best:
“Beware of destination addiction, a preoccupation with the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job, and with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.”

In real estate, this mindset shows up more often than we realize. We convince ourselves that the next house will be the one that finally makes us feel at peace. That more space, a better view, or a different zip code will somehow unlock the happiness we’ve been chasing.

I know this because I’ve lived it.

The Next House Syndrome

For years, we believed that another home would be more comfortable, more exciting—more us. And so we moved. And moved again. Each time thinking, “This is it.” And each time, realizing that the feeling we were chasing wasn’t tied to square footage or floor plans.

We now have a second home in the Ouachita Mountains of Arkansas. It’s stunning—on acreage, beautifully designed, and completely paid for. And yet, we’ve found ourselves wondering: Would more land and a bigger home be better?

It’s a familiar pull. But as Abraham Hicks reminds us, we only want something else because we think it will make us feel better. The question is: Will it?

When Change Is Right—and When It’s Just Restlessness

Sometimes, a move is exactly what’s needed. Downsizing to save money, relocating for lifestyle alignment, or upgrading to accommodate a growing family—these are real, valid shifts.

But sometimes, the desire to move is just a distraction from the deeper work of being present. Of appreciating what already is. Of realizing that comfort, peace, and joy aren’t found in the next house—they’re cultivated in the current one.

Lessons from Our Moves

We’ve lived in homes that were “perfect” on paper but didn’t feel right. We’ve downsized and regretted it. We’ve upsized and felt overwhelmed. And through it all, we’ve learned that home isn’t just a place, it’s a state of being.

It’s not about the view. It’s about the perspective.

So, What’s the Real Question?

If you’re considering a move, ask yourself:

• Am I running toward something—or away from something?
• Is this change aligned with my values—or just my discomfort?
• Will this new home support the life I want—or distract me from it?

Let’s Explore the Shift—Together

Whether you’re ready to move or simply questioning the urge, I’m here to help you sort through the noise. Because real estate isn’t just about buying and selling—it’s about aligning your outer world with your inner truth.

Let’s connect. Your next move might not be about where you’re going—but how you’re growing.