Everyday Moments Become Bigger Life Lessons

Last year, my partner and I were visiting with friends during the holidays, laughing and just doing the catch-up thing.

As we stood at their kitchen peninsula snacking on delicious chacuterie, they naturally asked about real estate.  I lamented that so many of the flipped houses look the same; there is a definite pattern. The brick was painted. Cedar posts had been added to the porch. Cedar shutters framed the windows. Inside, walls had been removed and kitchens had been opened. Storage space was sacrificed in the name of creating a bigger, more modern-looking room.  When the vintage home didn’t need this type of change-maybe just some refreshing.  It wasn’t that they looked bad, quite a few of them were beautiful. They just seemed to be following the exact same script.  I wondered out loud why people still buy these homes.

Without even pausing to think about it, Claudia gave an answer I’ll never forget.  “Because people are afraid to be different. They want to fit in.”

The conversation moved on, but that statement stayed with me.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized she wasn’t really talking about houses; she was talking about people.

These days, it’s easy to see how powerful the desire to fit in has become. Everywhere we look, we’re being shown what’s popular, what’s trending, and what’s getting the most attention. Social media gives us a running scoreboard of likes, comments, shares, and thumbs up. Before long, it’s easy to start measuring ourselves the same way.  Sometimes I wonder how many choices we make because we genuinely like something and how many we make because we don’t want to stand out.

I don’t think most people are trying to copy each other intentionally. I think they’re just looking for acceptance. We all want to belong somewhere; that’s part of being human.  But somewhere along the way, a lot of people learned that fitting in feels safer and easier than being themselves.  This is totally me at this point in my life.  I have started reflecting and meditating on how I can be me…do I even know who me is anymore?

The funny thing is that the people I’ve admired most throughout my life were never the ones trying to blend in. They were the people who seemed comfortable in their own skin, and they liked what they liked.  There was something refreshing about that kind of confidence.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that being different isn’t really the goal. Being yourself is.  Ironically, the things that make us unique are often the very things that make us interesting. They’re what people remember. They’re what create genuine connections.  Nobody remembers another copy; people remember authenticity.

So every time I see another flipped house with painted brick and cedar posts, I think about Claudia’s comment.  Not because of the house but because of the reminder.  Life gets a lot lighter when you stop asking, “Will everyone approve?” and start asking, “Does this feel right to me?”

That may be one of the most valuable renovations any of us will ever make within ourselves.

If you’re thinking about buying, selling, or just want to chat about life, I’d love to hear from you.